Saturday, August 6, 2011


I've had a few comments lately about my handle and how I got it so I thought I might take a moment in between coats of paint and 'splain it.

As a kid I never really had a nickname. My Mom called me "Tiger" way back before Mary Jane and Spiderman made the name cool. And I had a few names dropped on me by friends but luckily none of the ever really stuck. Mostly they had to do with "Pooh" (luckily that one is taken) and "Bear".

Anyway. Years and years ago (too many years ago) I found myself living in a semi-institutional setting (not an institution, more like a live-in trade school) that was somewhat isolated from society at large. We lived in large dormitories. Upon my arrival I noticed that there was a very clearly defined pecking order to the hierarchy and that most of the guys who were "somebody" in that hierarchy all had nicknames. I decided then and there that I needed a handle so I could get somewhere in this place.

Since I had gone through EMT training at another school I grabbed the name "Doc". It stuck and I actually got to practice my profession a few times when the guys did something stupid late at night when there was no nurse available. A couple of times it actually came in handy when it would take almost an hour to get an ambulance to our location from the nearest town.

So I hung on to "Doc" for a few years. Then a good friend of mine went through medical school and became a chiropractor. So he took up the handle "Doc" and I was left without a nick again.

Then some time in the late 80's I found a book titled "High Weirdness By Mail" by Ivan Stang. It was a compendium of nuts, kooks and weirdos who were all willing to send you very strange things through the mail for free or at least very cheap.

One whole section was on odd religions, many of whom would ordain you as a minister for free or a few dollars. I thought this would be great fun so I set about mailing out my name here and there.

Now, if any of you out there are overly or devoutly religious, I did not do this to poke fun at religion or belief in a supreme being or faith of any sort. It was more a social commentary about being wary of those who claim ordination. Just because someone claims to be ordained does not mean that they are spiritually blessed or even have any sort of actual training. It might just mean that they can address an envelope.

Hmmm..... A lot like my being on the Fire Brigade at work, eh? I got the title and the responsibility but no training whatsoever. But I digress.

In short, I not really trying to piss anybody off. But then if you are going to get your feelings all hurt by this then maybe you are too sensitive to hang out here in the first place.

In the space of a year or so I became a Minister, a Reverend, a Vicar, a Saint and a Pope. I got an honorary Doctor of Divinity degree and a few certificates and membership cards. And I had an awful lot of fun along the way.

So I went from being just a guy with a name to "The Reverend" to "Rev" to "Da Rev" and when I set up my very first email account back in the late 90's it was under "darev". And it's kind of stuck ever since.

Yes, I am an ordained minister, for whatever that is worth. Mostly the price of a few stamps. But not the kind you would want taking care of your soul. Heck, you probably wouldn't want me to watch your dog or your houseplants either.

I don't do weddings, baptisms, bar mitzvahs or administer the last rites. But if you need an introduction to the tinfoil hat crowd, I'm your guy.


  1. Thanks for the explanation. I had, indeed, wondered about that, since I was pretty sure you weren't religious (forgive me if I'm wrong). Very interesting indeed. Pope, eh? Wow.

  2. True story. When I first started this whole internet thing (because, like Gore, I invented the whole thing) my handle was slavefet. I knew the name would bring me lots of playthings to abuse and anger, but I was surprised to see how many people thought I meant slave feet. truely, we are a racist group of monkeys. It's slave-fetish I would tell them. They would have long delays in responding, but generally come back with; "so, you like being a slave, slave feet?"
    Anyway, I thought I would share.

    Safe word: Goomba I'm pretty sure that is a character from Super Mario Bros.

  3. Rev, we must be brothers from a different mother. I too have a doctorate in divinity. Sadly, I've lost my "church in a box" kit, I guess it didn't make it on one of the moves. The Universal Life Church of Modesto CA is a great place.

  4. Donna- I take no offense. I am very patently non religious. Odd for someone who has been ordained as many times as I have, don't you think. And yes. Pope. But those jealous types in the Vatican still refuse to recognize me to this day.

    Scott- Atypical, as always. Feet. Hee hee hee! Ah, me. That's a weird world, isn't it?

    Joe- Yes indeed. You caught me out. The ULC is a very handy thing to have around. I can use "Reverend Doctor" as my title if I choose.

  5. Every time I think of your name I always picture you with that white collar, and a very weather beaten pocket-sized Bible in your hand and a crucifix wrapped around your knuckles.

  6. Hey Rev,
    We're birds of a feather! When I was younger, I did the same thing! I'm an ordained minister of Cavalry Grace Church of Faith in Rilltown, PA. I have no frickin' idea where that is or what denomination they are, but I'm a Jewish minister. Pretty cool, huh?

  7. Got mine in the Church of Human Spiritualism a few years ago online. The certificate cost $20 so I skipped that part. Getting ordained was free though.
    Oddly alike.

  8. But wait, you do do weddings! At least, you offered to do ours.

    Brother (in Law) Den.

  9. Bryan- A silver crucifix concealing a knife, grenade-sized bottles of holy water and a gun bigger than my head as well.

    Lolamouse- Shalom, Rabbi! I'll try not to be such a vantz! (grin) hee hee hee!

    Vinnie- You are like the son I never had. Disturbingly strange....

    Deke- I use to offer to do them but on further reflection I decided against it. Yours turned out okay but I don't want that kind of potential for blood on my hands.