Monday, August 15, 2011

Back In The Saddle Again

It felt a little strange putting on my uniform today. It was the first time I had worn long pants other than my flannel pj's in two weeks.

That duty belt felt like it weighed twenty pounds when I strapped it around my hips and when I added the radio and the set of yard keys I thought I might fall over.

Despite the fact that it was too hot and I was too broke to do anything much it sounds like I picked the right two weeks to take my vacation. There were several fights and a couple of 10-5's and a few uses of force and I'm sure if I had been there I would have gotten involved in at least some of that mess.

By the way, a big shout out to Miz T for thinking about me. I really appreciated the thought. I wouldn't have taken your money, but I was touched nonetheless.

With all the activity that had gone on I was a little nervous about what today might hold. I wanted to ease back into it slowly if at all possible. I sure didn't want to have to run my first day back. And, with that thought in mind, I almost had to.

They had just opened the yards for the evening. The offenders were still streaming out of the houses onto the yard. I was up by central standing in the shade of a tree where I could see a fair distance when I heard this radio call: "10-49! 10-49! Garble garble garble..."

A 10-49 is a fight, by the way.

It was like one of those stop action sequences they do in the movies to increase the tension of the scene. My eyes went wide and my pupils dilated. My heart rate jumped up. My hands went from resting on my belt to by my sides, arms slightly bent, ready to reach or run. I stood up to my full height and almost went up on my tiptoes and I took half a step forward to balance on the balls of my feet, trying to decide which direction I had to go. I started scanning the yard, trying to see somebody moving or running. I looked down the walk and saw Meanie about fifty yards away doing the same weird little dance I was.

All of that took place in the space of about two seconds. I couldn't see anything and I was just thinking about moving in one direction or the other and they finally managed to repeat the transmission "10-49! A-yard in front of 3 house!"

Aw snap! All the way across the camp and at least two gates between here and there. About the time I decided that my best bet would be to go through central, Sgt Moon called over the radio and said "10-6 the 10-49 on A-yard!"

That meant they had it under control and didn't need any more help. Whew! I was pretty happy about that. From the bits I heard both fighters got pepper sprayed and at least one of them got bloodied enough that he had to go to the hospital. Probably for stitches.

Not only did I pick the right two weeks to take off I picked the right side of the camp to be on when I came back. The little creeps on our side all behaved themselves and we got through the evening with nobody doing anything stupid.

I was pretty happy about that, let me tell you.

And I can tell from the way my legs feel that I need to start getting back on the treadmill in the mornings again. Sitting on my butt for two weeks did me no good at all.

All in all, it felt good to be back in prison.

I just had to see if I could write that sentence out with a straight face. I couldn't. Whew!

So tomorrow they have me scheduled to work in 30 house and I'm not at all thrilled about that. I don't much care for that house. But I'll survive. Hopefully, anyway.

Tuesday is going to be the National Bratwurst Festival as well as Joe Miller's Joke Day and National Airborne Day.


  1. Just so you know, I think about you every Saturday night. My daughter got me watching "Lockup" on MSNBC. I always wonder if those are the kinds of people you have to deal with. Wow. I don't think there is enough money in the world to entice me to deal with those jerks.

  2. The Group blog is no longer at the addy you have up, which is funny in its own right. Personally, I saw remove it and replace it with Tales From a Motel, because that blog kicks supernatural butt.

    safe word: logib

    That hard to reach screw in the back of the press machine that keeps coming loose.

  3. I was going to comment on your "feels good to be back in prison" sentence, but you already did! Did all your little convicts give you a big "welcome back!"?

  4. Donna- When I first started here I watched "Lockup" and "Big House" and all of those and they scared me half to death. Now it's just another day at the office.

    Scott- I did that. Why is the group blog gone?

    Lolamouse- I move around so much now most of them didn't even notice I was gone. Hell, half the staff didn't notice I was gone! How nice is that?

  5. Not gone. We changed the addy, which is why you had shown old posts from weeks back. You would need to add the new address to have it updated.

    safe word: ingot

    What words ending with ed try to avoid.
    Wanting: Would you like some ingot too?
    Wanted: Um, no. Gross!