Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Blogging To The Oldies Pt 7

Friday, November 7, 2008

That's Not Funny.... That's Sick!!!

Ok, we had one of those moments today. If you weren't one of us and you didn't work where we do, you'd think we were a band of twisted freaks.

Well.... we are, but it comes with the territory.

There's an inmate (you know by now I don't name names) who is very disturbed and spends alot of time in our housing unit. He got placed on suicide watch by the head Pshrink lady today because he was in the cell laughing to himself and muttering strange dark things. We tried to tell her he does this all the time, but she wanted it done, so.... He gets stripped out and put in a camera cell with a kevlar smock and blanket.

Now, this guy has some serious issues, anyway. And the meds they are giving him seem to exacerbate some of those issues a little. The clinical term for it is "Hypersexuality". We tend to call him "Sir Whacksalot". Need I explain? I thought not.

So right after he gets put on watch they call down and say they want him taken to medical for a forced medication injection. Probably haldol or something of the like. I'm not sure. Usually calms them down for a day or two. I happen to glance up at the camera and there he is.... pulling one for the home team. Going to town. Shifting into overdrive. Oiling up the old baseball glove. Shaking hands with Mr. Happy. You get the picture. So did we.

The average "normal" person would go "Jeez!" and find something else to do. Not us. Oh Lord, not us. For some reason, this seemed to be the funniest thing we have all seen in several days and we had more fun adding commentary and bizarre sound effects. It was like a really twisted version of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" without the robots.

We're some really sick people here, sometimes. It's a good thing the Pshrinks don't come down to talk to us. I liken it to battle fatigue or shell shock. After awhile, even the most bizarre things don't seem to affect us the way it would normal people.

I told you once the things that amuse me at work were strange. You didn't believe me, did you?


I have done things and heard things and seen things in the last eight years that I would have never imagined. That most people never will imagine.

And I have laughed at things that would make a normal person piddle in their penny loafers.

It's probably a good thing I spend most of my time in this little room here by myself.

I'm just saying....

So tomorrow, Wednesday, will be Lazy Day. I'm hip to that. I have been mostly lazy for the last week and a half so far. It will also be National Duran Duran Appreciation Day (hey, I don't write 'em! I just report 'em!), Smithsonian Day, S'mores Day and the Perigean Spring Tides Day. Go figure.


  1. Well, you certainly had plenty of handy metaphors at your disposal with this post.

  2. Darn. Now I see that the captcha word (or the "safe word" as Scott calls them. hee hee) below the comment field is "nesticl" Why didn't I get that one? Oh wait...I guess I just did.

    I'm going to bypass the obvious interpretation and instead speculate that it's what happens when you give a melted nestle crunch to the inmate in the camera cell.

  3. There once was a man from nantucket...

    Whenever the wife decides to close up shop for awhile, I can sometimes climb the walls myself with frustration. Generally, I go back to the mancave, but now I kind of want someone to jump out from the shadows and stab me in the neck with some Hadol...

    Safe Word: trers A tree hugging hippie who ers on the side of caution.

  4. I remember those days haha. It makes me happy to be in a "normal" housing unit so I can feel "normal." I found out yesterday I get to go to a Hazardous Search Squad course for the Army. I hope it involves zombie eradication and zombie hunting techniques. I doubt it but a whacko can dream!
    My Safety word, haha, is fookedl. Sounds like an Irishmans word for being screwed.

  5. Bryan- We used up the lot that night. Those and more. Whoop!

    Bryan (again)- Snort! You almost made me blow my drink all over the keyboard!

    Scott- When we come with the shot, just remember: There will be five of us and we won't be real gentle. Better have a butt cheek ready!

    FlyinMonkey- Hopefully the Army is finally taking the zombie threat seriously!