Friday, April 1, 2011

Thought We Stepped In It

Whoo. Thought this day was going to start off bad and get worse as it went.

Came in and they were doing a staff search. Man I purely do hate when they do those. They go through everything in my lunchbox and get it all mixed up. Have to take everything out of my pockets and take off my belt and my hat and my boots. Then get patted down.

I can't be grumpy with the people doing it because they're just doing what they're told to do by the big cheeses. But I do reserve the right to grumble about the inconvenience. And I can't find anything in the pockets of my lunchbox until I dump it all out and repack it again. Pfui.

While all this was going on I was listening to the radio with half an ear, hoping nothing bad would happen while I was standing here with no belt and no boots on. Sounded like they were locking a couple inmates up.

When I got my boots back on and went over to central I heard them call for a couple more escorts down to the Hive.

When I went back out to smoke I heard them call for a couple more. They had one in cuffs here and they were looking for another one there.

Holy snap. Are they locking up the whole camp?

Right before shift change they called for the B-yard Sarge to go to 9 house. He took one of his officers who ended up escorting one down to the Hive and he told me another one would be ready soon.

Sure enough, no sooner did I get to the shack and set down my lunchbox, 9 house called for an escort. I went down and got him and took him to medical. When we got there, three other inmates in cuffs were standing in line waiting to be seen before going to the Hive.

And when we got down to the Hive we had to wait in line again. Behind the same three guys.

Yeah, I remember those days. One of the reasons I have very little hair left and what is there is strictly gray.

I think they locked up nine or ten all at once. Some under investigation for something and a couple of them for a possible assault or maybe a fight. Nobody was exactly sure what was going on.

Nobody at my end of the food chain, anyway.

Luckily, the evening calmed down considerably after that. I was afraid we were going to have to run full tilt all night long.

But those first few hours surely were busy. Lawsy mercy!

Actually managed to get through chow early (even though Sausage sucks at calling out the houses) and had time to eat my dinner before the yards opened. That doesn't happen very often. And got a little bit of time after my Del Norte walk to just sit and listen to more of Sausage's improbable stories. Always the high point of my evening.

Did not get to even see let alone use a Bunsen burner and got no clams on the half shell, either. But Friday is One Cent Day.

Whatever it is, I hope it's something good. Or at least something worth one cent.


  1. "Implausible stories" I used to work with a guard like that. Usually people that are full of it bother me, but I didn't mind with that guy because the stories were at least entertaining.

  2. I don't understand. You're the guard. Why do you have to be searched and patted down? And why do they need to look in your food? Aren't you the good guy in the prison?

  3. @Chanel: I assume it's for the same reason police departments have Internal Affairs divisions. Someone has to watch the watchers. When I worked security, it seemed that the people the client was most suspicious of were the guards themselves.

    Sorry to step here. Carry on.

  4. Bryan- The first couple of years were entertaining. Now I just zone out and hum little tunes in the back of my head while he talks.

    Chanel- Unfortunately, staff members are responsible for alot of the bad stuff that ends up in the inmates hands. Drugs, cell phones, etc. I see the need to check while complaining about the indignity and inconvenience none the less.

    Bryan- You are correct, as usual. There are some of us that shouldn't be trusted with a wet book of matches. Just a few, though.