Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Good Morning, Mr Phelps

I no sooner walk in the front door this afternoon when Lt Baby Boy starts quizzing me to refresh his memory about my assigned days and my days off. Then he tells me I might get to go on a secret detail later on in the week.

He said "It's so secret I don't even know what it is yet. I'll let you know."

Well, I found out what it was and it was no big secret. Just another ho-hum crappy side detail that will pull me out of my spot for two days and aggravate me no end. He's just going to hose me out of my day on the yard.

If it comes to it and I have to go, I'll let you know what all the shouting was about.

For some odd reason all of the cards fell just right and we had plenty of people everywhere. As a matter of fact, for awhile this evening we had five CO's on B-yard. That hasn't happened in forever. That was very strange. I didn't have to count anywhere. Startling. All of the houses, at least on our side, were full.

St. Francis had the long walk tonight and Sgt Uncle T sent the two newest guys out to do the IP check and any escorts, which left me with very little to do besides watch after Uncle T. And these days he takes some watching after, believe me.

They've got him hooked to a heart monitor which is connected to his cell phone and he's allowed to carry it inside the fence. One of the few people allowed to do so. And if his heart rhythm gives a little hiccup his phone rings and the monitoring center at the hospital wants to know if he's okay. It's cool, but kind of distracting at times. And everybody is startled when he answers his phone.

This evening we were up in central and he was talking about getting all of these phone calls and The Watcher says "You should answer it 'City Morgue'!" Of course we all crack up and then I see the look in Sgt Uncle T's eyes.

Oh snap. He's gonna do it!

All the way out this fool is dancing up and down trying to get his heart rate to go up so that they'll call him.

Someone yells "Stop that! You're going to break a hip!"

I yell "And maybe even your own, dummy!" But he doesn't listen.

His phone doesn't ring until we get out in the parking lot. He fumbles the phone out of the case looking like a kid at Christmas and answers "City Morgue!"

The voice of the Pakistani nurse on the other end says "You not funny!" Then she proceeds to chew him out. When she's done he looks more like he just got out of the principals office. We got a good laugh out of it anyway. He vows to keep answering the phone like that until he reaches someone with a sense of humor.

See what I have to put up with?

Not like I'm any better. I'm just saying.....

Tuesday is Look Up At The Sky Day, Equal Pay Day, National Be Kind To Lawyers Day (Pfui), Drop Everything And Read Day, Licorice Day and Walk On The Wild Side Day.

If I was paid equally to a lawyer, I'd drop everything and read for awhile. Maybe then I could afford some licorice.


  1. Way to go Uncle T! I love a sense of humor.

  2. "It's so secret I don't even know what it is yet." That's funny.

  3. Ha ha! That's funny. "City Morgue."

  4. My sister likes to answer my grandmother's phone, "City Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em." My grandmother hates it, but we find it funny.

  5. Joe- Sometimes he's like riding herd on a three year old, I swear!

    Bryan- I almost laughed when he told me that. But that sort of thing never turns out good.

    Misty- Don't encourage him! He reads this!

    Chanel- My favorite was "Top of the Hill, God speaking." I used to get whacked for that one.