Saturday, September 11, 2010

Mr. Nice Guy

I got sent down to 4 house tonight. It's at least half full of ex and future Hive denizens. There's maybe three inmates in that house who don't know who I am. And maybe only a dozen that didn't flinch when they saw me sitting in front of their house.

Here was a fun little conversation that occurred out front:

Inmate: "Oh snit. Are you down here tonight?"
Me: "Yup. And there's sixteen empty beds down in the Hive."
Inmate: "Uh... I'm going inside to watch teevee for the rest of the night." (as he hurries inside)

I figured it might be a fun night. Me and Big Mess and Miz Trees with no supervision.

Count was screwed up (not ours, somewhere else) and we had to count them twice and chow was late and the yard was late..... That always throws your whole night off.

Then right after the yard opened an inmate came out to the sallyport and said "There's a guy in C-wing having a seizure!"

Oh snap. Miz Trees and I trot in there and the guy is laying on his bunk sure enough having a seizure. Just a mild one at first. She calls a Code 16.

Then he has a harder seizure. And comes out of it.

Then back into another one. And Sgt Buck comes in and helps me hold the guy on the bunk so he doesn't fall off. And he comes out of it.

Then back into another one. And the guy is kicking the crap out of my leg as I'm blocking him on the bunk. And he comes out of it as medical gets there. He almost takes a swing at Buck because he's so startled. To him I guess it looks like we just all appeared in his cell.

Then he goes into another seizure. Hard and nasty. I'm thinking one of us is going to end up getting clocked by either his hands or feet, he's thrashing so hard.

And every time he comes out Buck and I are saying "Take it easy, buddy. Calm down. We're here to help you." Trying to keep him from freaking out.

He finally comes out of it long enough for us to get him on the stretcher and he goes into another one. As soon as that one is done we get him secured and they carry him almost out of the wing before he has another and they have to set him down again.

Then he comes out of it and they get him to the medical cart and take him away.

Holy snap. When the dude finally comes back about three hours layer he's so wiped out he can barely stagger to his cell and lay down.

That was exciting.

Then everything was calm until about 9:35. About ten minutes before they all lock down for count. This inmate from A-wing comes up and says that his cellie is afraid and he wants to check in. I look up at the clock and say a few bad words, then go down to the cell with Miz Trees.

Sure enough, he wants to go to the Hive. Says he doesn't feel safe on this side of the camp.

Dag nab it! Why did he have to wait until twenty minutes before count to do this? Stupid gol-blasted ping pong brains.....

Get Sgt Buck back down there. We have to count the guy as being in the house, of course. So I get to help him pack his property while Buck helps count.

And all the while the guy is packing he keeps asking me "Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Or do you think I'm a coward?"

I could tell right away that this guy has got some pretty severe mental/emotional issues. Why he wasn't down there with the wobbleheads I don't know.

But he was already upset and worried and I just didn't want to make it worse by saying most of the things that I thought so I just agreed that he was probably doing the right thing and that he actually was pretty brave to have made this decision.....

I'm not all that good at being nice and helpful.

But I can do it when I have to. Leaves a funny taste in my mouth.

Starting nine days vacation tonight. I'm going to try and keep posting monday thru friday. You may just end up with pictures of what I did around the house on vacation.

If it gets too boring, let me know.


  1. Does the seizure guy have epilepsy or something? Does that happen a lot? How scary. I wonder what they gave him to make the seizures stop. I have never heard of anyone having that many seizures right in a row. Wow!

  2. People can have seizures like that no doubt, it's a horrible thing to watch.

    Enjoy your vacation.

  3. Misty- Yup. He's an epileptic. And he's known for having multiple grand mal seizures. Not the first time I've had to watch that with him. It's neither fun nor pretty to watch.

    Chilean Woman- I'm taking this time to relax and clear my head. Hopefully it works. I may need to rent a dumpster.

  4. My dad worked in corrections for years -- he always had interesting stories to tell about work.

  5. Tired- I hope he's better now. I've been telling stories for two years now and I don't seem to be running out of them any time soon. The depth and breadth of human stupidity is a span too wide for me to bridge in my lifetime. But I'll give it a shot.

  6. I'm may not see you before I leave?? That sucks! But you have a GREAT vacation! I'll miss you!