Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I Didn't Start It!

And I didn't get to stick around and finish it, either. I just hope everything went more or less okay and nobody on my crew got hurt.

Something went down with this wobblehead in C-wing today. There's no telling what for sure set him off. Most of the time he just invents snit to rant and rave about.

He was ranting and raving and kicking his door demanding to see everybody from the Sarge to the Boss to the Warden to probably the President. When ol' Popeye went in there and told him that if he would lay down and quit kicking his door, wobblehead snatched a fresh poop out of the toilet and threw it at his cell window.

Well, we don't take too kindly to that sort of thing down there in the Hive. Popeye wrote him up for that and since it was a poop related violation, they put him on soft tray (styrofoam) for the next three meals.

So when I went up there to give him his styrofoam tray, he demanded to know why he was getting fed like that. I told him it was because he threw poop. He said he never did and demanded to see the Sarge. I told him he either takes his tray or refuses it, but that is what he is getting.

At first he stuck his hand out the chuck hole and said "What are you gonna do about that?" I pulled out the pepper spray (thinking "Yippee!) and said "You better get your hand back in there, right now!" So he pulls his hand back in (the whimp!) and I slam the chuck hole shut.

And as I am walking away, out from underneath his cell door comes his drink and then all of his food. Some of which ends up on my boots. I told him "Congratulations! You just assaulted staff! You really aint gonna like what comes next!" He immediately starts screaming that I dumped his food on the floor (I didn't, I swear!) and screaming for the Sarge and the Captain and the Warden, etc.

And he starts kicking his door again. And he covers up his cell window.

I tell Sarge, who calls the Cap who says "As long as he is still alive in there, let him sit in it. I don't care."

So all night long this idiot kicks the door and screams and calls me names and threatens me and says I am retaliating against him for some unknown reason.

I don't care.

Right about the time me and Chuck are getting ready to leave, Sarge and I go up to read his violation. He says "I don't want to hear that bullsnit! Get away from my door!" We step away to note down that he refused to participate, sign the violation and Sarge slips his copy under his door.

About the time I am walking out of the wing I hear him scream "That motherfuc*er wrote me up for assault! He's a lying di*ksuc*er! I'll kill that motherfuc*er!" And starts kicking his door again.

Whatever. I'm going home. And off I went.

As I'm going through Central I hear the Cap say wobbleheads name. I figure he was just talking about what went on earlier.

When I get out front I remember something I wanted to tell KP so I call back down there and he says "Wobblehead just went on suicide watch!" I ask "Did you get him moved and stripped out okay?" And he replies "Not yet! Thanks alot!"

Hey, I didn't start it. Just remember that.

I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be more of the same thing.


  1. I think I know who you're talking about. Stay safe guys.

  2. It turned into a non-event. We talked until he got tired of hearing our voices, then he moved without incident.

  3. Drew- We do try. Getting too old to get all banged up all the time.

    KP- I'm glad it turned out okay. And I'm sure he'll be all pissed off again when I get down there today. Ah, well.....

  4. The good thing is... he is no longer part of the wabblehead program, and has graduated to go to a big boy camp.

  5. Squiddly- And he still think he's getting out in three months. Says "Nobody can do anything about that!" He might get out in 2016 if he starts behaving himself now. Can you see that happening?

  6. I really enjoyed tonight's post