Tuesday, March 23, 2010

He Said I Could!

Inmates, being inmates, are always trying to get more than what they are due. It's their way.

And one of their favorite tricks is to say that someone else told them they could have it.

That person is usually unavailable for verification.

Sometimes it works. Unless they ask me. If the person isn't available to verify that they okayed it, the inmate is just beat.

I'm a jerk like that.

Inmates in the Hive are only allowed access to the phones for 15 minutes each on saturday mornings. If the Boss or a caseworker doesn't authorize anything extra, it just aint happening.

We used to have a little more leeway on granting extra phone calls. Then I got burned with a sob story. This creep sang me a sad song about needing to get in touch with his attorney before he went out for a court hearing. So I put him on the phone. I didn't see any harm in it.

What the rotten little sh*t did was get on the phone and call his victim (a young girl) and threaten her if she went to court and testified against him.

Needless to say, she got upset and told her parent who called the prison and complained. When I got in the next afternoon and heard what he had done I was horrified. And extremely angry. I wanted real bad to go in and bust that punk in the face several times. And maybe make a mess of his chances for ever reproducing.

What I did was go in to see the Boss Lady and told her what I did. And why. I confessed that I got suckered and that it would never ever happen again. I even offered to call the girl and her family and apologize personally. They didn't think that was a good idea. It probably wasn't.

I got off with a slap on the wrist and a verbal admonition.

Needless to say, I haven't given out any more phone calls. Not without authorization.

Of late several inmates have tried the old "The caseworker said I could get a phone call tonight" ploy on me. And they are extremely vexed when it doesn't work. They run right into a stone wall of "Nope, that isn't going to happen" and they don't have a clue why.

That is just another one of those things that they will not ever get extra from me ever again.

The caseworkers know that I am the go-to guy if they need an inmate to get on the phone on my shift. And unless they deliver that information to me personally, it is just not going to happen.

No way. No how. No Sir!


  1. I think I would have found a way to bust the "little sh**'s" head anyway.

    That poor kid.

  2. I remember that. You took your slap on the wrist like a man. If someone says they've never been swayed by a sob story, I call BULLSHIT!! As I recall, you were harder on yourself than any of us could have been. Still are from the sound of it. (and I would have loved to give you a crack at that p.o.s., but alas, there are laws against it.)

  3. And how offended some get when you refuse to believe their lies. "Whaddya ya mean I can't call my Grandpa? It's an emergency! He's having a hysterectomy in the morning and the Dr. says he might not live through it!"

  4. Just Me- You have no idea how bad i wanted to. But they were watching me.

    Peggy Sue- That one hit me hard. I still get pissed off when i think about it. And I'm sure the little creep will be back.

    BA- And I have heard stupid crap like that and they get so indignant when i tell them no.