Monday, November 9, 2009

Gave Myself The Willies

I couldn't believe it affected me like that. Things in the Hive don't get to me very often.

When an offender comes to the Hive, he gets a stripped down set of his property. He is allowed sheets, blanket, pillow, towel, basic cosmetics (soap, toothbrush & toothpaste), three changes of clothes, stamps and paper, etc. Just the basic stuff he needs (or the state says he needs) to survive. It's not much.

So this guys property comes in and I get out the list and I'm going through it checking for contraband and making sure he gets what he is supposed to have. No big deal. I do that several times a day on average.

And I move his sheets and I see this little pink plastic box. I open it up and there, smiling up at me, are both sets of the guys teeth.

All of the sudden I get a case of the willies all over. I snap the box shut and toss it back down in the bundle and think to myself: "What the snap was that all about?" It's not like I haven't seen dentures before.

I mean really. What the snap?

I've stood and talked calmly to a guy covered in his own poop. Repeatedly. I searched a cell spattered with blood looking for a weapon. I've cut cords for around guys necks who were trying to strangle themselves.

Why in the heck would a pair of naked teeth get to me like that? I dunno. It was weird.

I've seen some strange and weird snit down here and just waded on like it was nothing.

Maybe it just caught me off guard or something.


  1. Maybe you just realized the mortality of your own teeth. Can I call you a dentist?

  2. Does he get to keep the teeth? Or does the state think it's not necessary?

  3. Were they smilin' at ya?

  4. he probably has his noodle eating teeth in right now.

  5. BA- My own teeth will soon go the way of the Dodo. I'm not looking forward to it.

    Tango- He got to keep his teeth. I... just don't want to go there.

    Anon- A toothy grin, to say the least.

    g- That sounded dirty.