Saturday, November 24, 2012

Believe It Or Not, But I Held My Tongue

Oooooo.....  I got pissed off tonight.  Like I haven't been in a long time.  And believe it or not, I behaved myself and didn't take the top of the fool's head off like I wanted to.

It wasn't an inmate this time.  It was staff.

The unwritten but understood rule is that nobody moves fifteen minutes before count time.  Nobody nowhere.  Unless it is a life or death emergency.  That way it lessens the chance of our count getting screwed up over something stupid.

So I'm down in B-dining this afternoon and it's maybe 4:10.  Twenty minutes to count.  I hear Snowball on the phone telling somebody that he is keeping two offenders until count clears and he hangs up the phone.  Two minutes later the phone rings again.  It's the little dweeb from visiting complaining that two of the dining workers have a visit and Snowball wouldn't send them.

I said "Look.  I'll call the control center and see.  But it's probably too late."  So I get on the phone to Miz Twang and she says "No!  It's 4:15!  It's too late.  They will have to wait until count clears."

I called visit back and told him it was too late and he said "Well, I called the Lieutenant, so he'll be calling you in a minute."  And sure enough, a minute later the Lieutenant called and said "Send those two to visit now."

I distinctly remember at one point slamming the phone down and contemplating throwing it somewhere a long ways away.

So because that self important little snaphole went behind my back and cried to the shift commander that his visitors might be inconvenienced, we had to send two inmates out to visiting at 4:23.  Seven minutes before count.

I was so pissed off, I really wanted to go up to the visit room and tell that little jerk that he better never go behind my back like that again.  My concern was safety and security and trying to keep count from being messed up.  His concern was listening to the visitors complain because they had to wait to see their precious little felon.

But I thought better of it.  Chewing him out in front of a room full of visitors would have been bad.  So I stewed awhile then went up and ranted to Lt Pants instead.  He wasn't the one that made the call, so he just sat and listened and agreed and I felt a little better.  Then I apologized for being so crabby.

I know that I'm just a Sergeant and I don't really have a lot of authority.  But the authority that I do have I take seriously.  And that snaphead just lost whatever cooperation he might be getting from me in the future.  I'd jump in a donnybrook to save his life, but if he lost his wallet in the parking lot I might kick it down a storm drain.

I probably wouldn't, but I'd smile a whole bunch thinking about it.

16 comments:

  1. I'd be kicking his wallet, while it was in his back pocket, and I'd be kicking it really hard. Maybe you'd be knocking some sense in his head that way! Just saying!

    And good on you for being able to hold your tongue; something I'll look forward to doing in my next life. *grin*

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    1. Jenny Lou- I behaved, but barely. he got one on me. The next time it will get put on paper and he'll be answering for it.

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  2. "Well, I called the Lieutenant, so he'll be calling you in a minute."

    What a jerk! Still, I'm surprised that Lt. took his side so easily and so adamantly. Is there some sort of legal issue about not letting visitors see prisoners immediately or something? Otherwise, I really can't fathom why he wouldn't think that the count took higher priority over the visitors. It's a vital part of the prison's security; even I can see that! If that means a couple a couple of people gotta wait, oh well. There's a seat. I mean, what was this? The Governor himself dropping by to see his nephew with trumpets and bells? And if this Lt. just told you that because he didn't feel like listening to the guy in visiting gripe, well then he just plain sucks.

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    1. Bryan- The Lt only got one side of the story and he has to answer to the Warden, who doesn't like getting complaints from visitors. Believe me, if this happens again, I will be making a stink about it.

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  3. Unfortunately, the LTs are very customer service oriented.
    But I can't tell you the fit I'd be throwing if I were sitting at the desk for that mess.
    And I'd get my butt chewed for the trouble, but I'd be a loud, aggravated, screaming, yelling, cussing, sob, mf'er for the rest of the day and there isn't anybody in my chain of command or otherwise that wouldn't hear about it.
    Actually riles me you quite a bit just to read about it.

    You can't tell, bit I'm pretty pissed about it.

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    1. Vinnie- Calm down there, big fella. Miz Twang threw a big enough fit for both of us from what I hear. She gave the Lt a piece of her mind, so I could save the little bit I have left.

      Next time I'll handle it differently.
      Live and learn.

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  4. By the way, that picture reminds me of a gag I like to pull on people sometimes. You tell them, "I bet you [x amount, if you wanna go that route] that I can stick my tongue out and touch my forehead." Then you stare at them while you slowly stick your tongue out while simultaneously touching your forehead with the tip of your finger, demonstrating technically that you can stick out your tongue AND touch your forehead.

    Another good one is you make a little doughnut hole with your thumb and forefinger, you know, like the "goose egg" sign. You make it about the size of a quarter. Then you tell everybody, "How much you wanna bet that I can poke my head through this little hole?" Then, when all the bets are in, you hold the hole up by your forehead and stick the index finger of your other hand through the hole and...well, poke your head with it. Once again you'll be demonstrating technically that you can poke your forehead THROUGH that little hole.

    Now go ahead. I expect you at least fifteen minutes of solid entertainment out of that.

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    1. Bryan- I'm sure those will astound and amaze everybody.

      if they don't, I'll give them your email address and let you explain them, okay? (grin)

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  5. What ever happened to " following the chain of command ". Or did that just get thrown out the window. YOU are the yard Sargent. YOU control the movements. He blatantly disobeyed the chain of command and at the least deserves an entry into his performance log. Sheesh ! If that would have happened in the hive we would have gotten a butt chewin' a performance entry and every crap job to come along until the end of time. Or at least until Dec. 21st 2012 ! Lol

    ~Ghost~

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    1. Ghost- Yeah! The chain of command. Believe me, he will get hammered hard on that if anything.... when that happens the next time. because you and I both know it will happen again.

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  6. By the way, that picture reminds me of a gag I like to pull on people sometimes. You tell them, "I bet you [x amount, if you wanna go that route] that I can stick my tongue out and touch my forehead." Then you stare at them while you slowly stick your tongue out while simultaneously touching your forehead with the tip of your finger, demonstrating technically that you can stick out your tongue AND touch your forehead.

    AND, technically, can watch and wait - then put a knee into yer knackers ... so?

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    1. Hey, just stumbled back across this reply Davoh.

      These gags play off our loose, and sometime inaccurate, way of expressing ourselves here in America. When you say to someone here, "I bet I can stick my tongue out and touch my forehead", they generally assume that you mean that you're going to stick your tongue out and touch your forehead WITH YOUR TONGUE. So, when you perform the much simpler feat described above which technically meets all the necessary criteria, it takes them off guard, thus the joke, lame though it may be.

      Likewise, when you tell them that you're going to poke your head through the tiny hole, they assume that it's your head that's going to do the poking and...well, rinse, wash, and repeat.

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    3. Think of it as something akin to the old "Man Eating Chicken" carnival gag. Said a certain way, people assume that there's a hyphen between "man" and "eating", so they come expecting to find a bird with voracious appetite for human flesh. What they find instead, is a much more mundane sight of a man enjoying a chicken dinner.

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  8. Hey! How do you feel about commercial pop-ups of any kinds put on personal blogs?

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