Saturday, May 19, 2012

Did I Mention I Hate Surprises?

Something about working in a prison, I don't know. But I just despise being surprised.

Thought tonight was going to be just another humdrum boring night. One of those ones where I could just skip the post bit and just jot down the holidays for tomorrow and go to bed.

Then they called a surprise count fifteen minutes early. We weren't ready. PPK was still over at Central working on the computer and out of the house. There was no warning at all.

Tilt grabbed Miz Pepe and went to count. As PPK came scrambling back in the door I went out to do the inner perimeter inspection again. We have to do that when there is an emergency count.

Went trotting around the fence checking for holes and tunnels, trying to get it done as fast as I could, knowing they were waiting to hear me clear it.

Came trucking around the end of the building just as PPK came around the other way unexpectedly. I made this noise like "Pshxxft!" Kind of a cross between someone suddenly letting the air out of a balloon and someone sitting on a startled badger.

We very nearly pepper sprayed each other.

That would have been extremely difficult to explain in the paperwork afterwards.

And they would have never let me live it down.

We never did find out what all the fuss was about.

Did I mention I dislike surprises? And that surprising corrections officers in general is just a bad idea?

I'm just saying...

Saturday is going to be Frog Jumping Jubilee Day, Armed Forces Day, Mike, The Headless Chicken Day, the O. Henry Pun-Off Day and Artichoke Day.

Snap! I missed the pun-off again!


  1. Ah, see, I was wondering why Mike got his own day and what sicko thought having a headless chicken to be fun as well, but "Mike, the headless chicken day" makes way better sense. Now, to find a chicken named Mike...

    1. Scott- I have no idea what the headless chicken thing is all about, really. But it's on the list so I put it down.

  2. And here I was going to surprise you with this million dollar check. Oh well, I guess I'll just rip it up. Thanks for the warning.

    1. Bryan- You have no idea how mad that would have made me. I hate surprises, really. (grin)

  3. Does that mean I need to stop sending boxes?