Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Search, But No Seizure

Well! Despite what the schedule said, I got nowhere near three house this evening. Not that it's a good thing or a bad thing. I got nothing against that house or their crew. Just stating a fact.

Uncle Scary was going to be late so they stuck me on the wobblehead yard until he got there. And sure enough, as soon as I got his IP and building checks done, he showed up. Ah well.

Got to spend most of the rest of the night on B-yard as an extra. That was somewhat startling. Usually if we have an extra they don't stay there all night. But I did. Well, most of it. And we had two OJT's out there as well. Don't know quite what to make of them yet. It's much too early to tell.

But I do love listening to the new people on the radio. They mess stuff up much worse than I do.

Since Sgt Uncle T had Sausage and St Francis and the two OJT's out there, he held me back and I pretty much did diddly-squat most of the night.

But there was a price to that, of course. He's taken to calling me his "pet". So I had to put up with being called "Fido" and people barking at me all night.

That's okay, Uncle T. I know where you sleep.

Later on in the evening I got sent on a "secret detail" up in A-visiting. I wasn't allowed to know what I was doing until I got there. Turns out we were doing staff searches on midnight shift as they came in.

And believe me, nobody looked like that picture up there.

The really surreal part of it was, it was Lt Pistachios last night. He's retiring. And they set up his little retirement party right on the other side of the room. So on one side as they came in we were searching lunch boxes and patting them down and making everybody take off their shoes and such. Then as they got done they got cake and ice cream and soda as they went out the door.

I hate staff searches. Personally I think they are insulting. On the other hand, we all know people who have brought things in. Sometimes dangerously stupid things. There was an officer a few years ago that was so adept at finding prison made weapons (shanks) that we were all pretty sure he was making them himself and bringing them in just so he could find them. And somebody else that found so many tattoo guns we were beginning to suspect the same thing about him.

Just like the cell phone they found........

Never mind. I'm not going there.

So many times in so many places staff at prisons have been caught bringing in really stupid things. Drugs, weapons, cell phones, etc. We all know it happens. And there's always someone willing to do something that retarded for whatever reason.

But that doesn't make me like being searched or searching my fellow staff any better. I still find it insulting.

And I am very happy that we didn't find anything stupid.

Wednesday is going to be Ask A Stupid Question Day, Fish Tank Floor Show Night, Rosh Hashanah, and National Good Neighbor Day.

I think I'll go ask my neighbors fish if they are Jewish. That should cover everything.


  1. I feel the same way when I have to go in for the mandatory "random" drug testing here at the Happy Homestead. Just because the Supreme Court says its an acceptable violation of our 4th Amendment rights doesn't make it right. OTOH, the drug testing still, after all these years, catches miscreants. Go figure.

  2. And, on one of the Lockup shows this last Saturday night, they had the one of staff being searched in Indiana. And, sadly, a new gal got caught by the drug sniffing dog and resigned on the spot. So, I guess, like my drug testing, its a necessary evil. Though like you, it irritates the hell out of me.

  3. Staff searches are insulting. It's like making staff "sign in" at meetings and then respond to a roll call to make sure that no one had a friend sign in for them (I was at a place that made us do that-I wasn't there for long!)

  4. When I worked as a guard, we had this box of money that they called "lunch money", because when the miner's worked overtime they got tickets for $5 or $10 extra dollars...for lunch. They would turn the tickets in to us in exchange for the money. There could be as much as $300 in the box at any time. Every shift we had to count the money and the tickets so that it added up to $300. Mostly, this was to make sure that the guard hadn't stolen the money, an annoying but necessary precaution.

    I was told that before I worked there, one of the guards called the police up one night to report that someone had broken into the guard shack and stolen the money. Problem is, when the police arrived they found that the door had been busted out from the inside and the glass was all over the parking-lot. So off to jail goes the guard.

    True story? Possibly. Part of me tends to think it's something they concocted to tell new people, like the old "no ice balls" story that used to float around the playground when I was in school, or the kid that supposedly got his arm ripped off sticking it out the bus window. Still, I suppose it has a certain plausibility, although I certainly wouldn't have given up my job just to make off with a measly $300 dollars, but I suppose there's people who would. At any rate, I could plainly see that counting the money was something that needed to be done.

    We had plenty of other things like that too, and sometimes it did feel like too much effort was put into watching the watchers and guarding the guards, as if we were under the most suspicion of all. I never had a job where I felt like I was under more surveillance, then when I was working in the surveillance business. Now sure why. Maybe I was more aware of it. Maybe it was more on their minds. Maybe because it was a contract business. I don't know, but it always felt like they were more suspicious of the guards than anybody.

    On the other hand, when I worked stock in retail, they did say that something like 75% percent of all thefts came from the employees themselves.

    I think I've digressed completely off point here.

  5. It's sad, true, but ask any offender where the drugs come from, and they will tell you, "You, staff."

  6. I think personal searches might be on the horizon for my profession. (Not really, but it's just one more lack of professional respect that they could add to the teaching profession.) I suppose you're dealing with a much more dangerous situation there, so the searches make a little sense to me.

  7. Joe (and Joe)- When I get popped for a pee test I always make jokes and they never appreciate them. I was sure glad we didn't catch anybody doing anything stupid the other night. That would have ruined my whole day I think.

    Lolamouse- If I didn't need this job, they might insult me right out the door. Guess I have to endure for a few more years...

    Bryan- It just goes to show that people in general aren't trustworthy. There are people that will steal anything that isn't nailed down.

    Drew- And isn't that as sad state of affairs? I hope it isn't really true but I think I'm fooling myself.

    Brent- I'm surprised they aren't searching you guys already. It'll happen.