Went down to the Hive for my Monday. It's been a little while.
I'm not sure if I like what being down there does to my attitude now.
I used to love being down there. Well, I'm not sure "love" is the right word. I fit in down there very well. I knew the house and I knew how it ran and how it should run and what should be done at what time and how.
Admittedly, I was a little bit of a jerk about it at times. I have definite opinions and when you start getting into my zone and messing with things I can get a little testy. I just wanted to get done what needed to get done and go home.
I suspect most people are like that about their zones.
Since I have been other places for the past year and a half or so now I have mellowed considerably. I'm still kind of a jerk about getting the work done quickly so we can all go home on time, but my..... aggressiveness towards the offenders has gone way down. I guess mostly it's because the ones outside the Hive tend to be less obnoxious than the ones inside.
So when I find myself down there again and I get that old feeling in my hackles and I'm angry and more aggressive and suspicious of every action it really grates on my nerves now. Each time we opened a chuck hole or a door I found myself tensing waiting for something stupid to happen. Because I knew from past experiences how fast something can go bad, especially down there.
And I had to fight myself to keep it from showing in my face or body language and that was very hard. I don't know if they could see how tightly wrapped I was or not. Nobody said anything, so I think I covered it well.
The place just makes me tense. And I don't enjoy it anymore.
Even though we had a very calm night I was still quite wound up until we finally walked out of the door again at the end of shift.
And now my body is going through this huge adrenaline crash and I can barely keep my eyes open.
I suppose if I were forced to, I could get used to working down there again. But I don't think I would enjoy it like I once did. I like the people down there. Just not the house.
Too many memories in that place, I guess. Hopefully it will be awhile before they put me back down there again. I just don't like it anymore.
So Tuesday is going to be National Punch Day. Hopefully they mean the drink.
I'll have a big glass, please.
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