If you want to get something done in a hurry in Raccoon City, all you have to do is utter the magic phrase "The Major is pissed!" and it generally gets done pretty quickly.
And once again, third shift shows why we are always batting clean-up and for a good reason. We find the solutions and get the snit done.
Lt Beez calls me at 25 house and says "There's some stuff down in your basement. Broken brooms and stuff. It all needs to get hauled over and thrown in the trash compactor. It was supposed to get taken care of days ago and the Major is pissed. Will you take care of it?"
I said we'd handle it.
When I went down in the basement I saw about 25-30 broken brooms and mop handles taped together in bundles along with another pile of broken crud. It didn't look too bad. Then when I turned around I found a laundry cart (without anyone hiding in it)
loaded with more pieces of wood and metal pipes and about three hundred pounds of torn up floor tiles and chunks of drywall that needed to go out with the broken brooms.
Oh freaking joy.
The Lt said we could conscript a few inmates to push the carts over, but they were not allowed to throw any of that stuff in the dumpster themselves. So I took Tilt and a couple of inmates to push the carts and then Tilt sent them back to the house and we got busy.
When we had the first cart about halfway empty Tilt lifted one end of the thing to try and dump it all into the dumpster. He said "Watch out!" I said "What?" And a large handful of crap fell out and went right down the front of me.
Of course at that point the laws of laundry physics took over. The black stuff hit that white shirt of mine dead center. And the white stuff rolled down the leg of my black pants and all over my black boots.
I repeatedly said something that sounded nothing like "Oh snap!"
Afterwards I spent about twenty minutes in the bathroom trying to get at least some of that black crap out of my shirt to little avail. I finally managed to look halfway presentable again, anyway.
That's why I'm sitting here now well after midnight on my Monday evening or Tuesday morning as the case may be, doing a load of laundry as well as writing a blog post.
But we got the job done and Capt Strong (who used to be Lt Strong until recently. Congrats by the way!) did remember to say "Thanks!"
And third shift manages to do what day shift can never seem to accomplish. Once again.
So Saturday is going to be Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell Day as well as National Pencil Day, National "She's Funny Like That" Day and Terri's Day.
Ya know? She is funny like that. Now that you mention it...
And just in case anyone was wondering, I didn't win the Mega Millions. So it looks like I'll be here a while longer...
"Don't Quit Your Day Job" - By Jerry Zezima Stamford Advocate When my kids were young and had already fallen into the expensive habit of eating every day, I came to a sad realization: ...
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