What do these three celebrities have in common?
Well, I'll tell you. It might come as a shock.
It certainly did to me.
It was a busy night all over the camp. Nothing really spectacular, just random silliness that seemed to keep everybody hopping pretty steadily.
I was managing to keep my head above water for the most part. Until I got the radio call from CTC.
I've talked about them before. They are the guys that are too mentally disturbed to live out in general population with the other inmates, so they are kept separate. The crazy practically leaks out of that place.
I always hate it when they call me. It's rarely anything good.
Anyway, I go pupping on down there and they tell me this one offender is wanting protective custody, claiming that he's being sexually assaulted.
I thought "Oh snap... Here we go..." I figured the paperwork on this one was going to last me all night. So I sit down to talk to the guy and find out what his deal is.
Well, it turns out that he claims that Louis Farrakhan (head of the Nation of Islam Church) and Bill Cosby (the comedian) were sexually molesting him in his dreams.
Just like Freddy Kruger. Imagine that.
He went on to claim that all of the staff knew about it and we weren't doing anything about it because Louis Farrakhan had him put in prison so we would all have jobs.
If that's true I may have to send old Lou a thank you card or something.
Anyway, I kept the smirk off of my face and said "Let me make a phone call. I'll be right back."
So I called Lt Wyatt and told him the story. But I left out Bill Cosby. He asked me if there was any evidence of sexual assault.
I just stopped and looked at the phone for a second. Then said "No. There's no need. I don't think Louis Farrakhan is actually on this camp. I'm pretty sure he is just coming in the guys dreams."
Wow. Okay. I admit that I had to look him up, too. But I was already pretty sure he wasn't here.
Luckily, the guy wanted to go to the Hive for a few days of R&R. He didn't give us any trouble and went on his merry way.
But the whole thing just left me shaking my head.
Bill Cosby? Really?
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