Sunday, September 30, 2012

Marked For Life

I wish I had a rubber stamp with tattoo needles in it.  That looked just like the picture above.

I'd use it alot.

There was a story come out of one of the other local prisons the other day that I thought I would share with you all.

A rather foolish young man (as so many of them tend to be) found himself in prison and decided that he should join one of the white supremacist gangs.  Whether because he actually believed in the garbage they sell or for his own protection I suppose we will never know.  Frankly, I don't really care what his motivations were.

As many of those wanna-be Billy Badaxe types tend to do, he got himself thrown into the Adseg unit.  The Hole.  For whatever reason.  Either his own protection or because he was just an idiot or whatever.

Once again, who cares?

At any rate, he discovered that his cellie was much smaller than him and started picking on him and bullying him and stealing his food.  Because he was big and the cellie was small.

Then he found out that his cellie was locked up for tattooing.  And he got this marvelous idea.  He would get a tat gun smuggled into the Adseg unit and he would have his cellie put the white supremacist gang tattoo on his back for him!  What a marvelous idea!

Can you see where this is going?

By the time the guy was done there were two tats on his back.  The first one in small cursive letters read "Tied to Texas T" and the date.  Now just in case you were wondering, this tat identified this punk as a "baby" in prison slang.  Somebody's homosexual play toy.

The second tat in big three inch letters said "I'M A CHOMO"...  Which in prison slang identifies him as a child molester.

This fool is now marked for life.  Oh sure, he'll find someone kind enough to mark over it some day.  On the outside some tatter might take pity on him and cover it up.  But I doubt it.  I'd hazard a guess and say that 99% of the people he approaches to do the cover up work are going to take one look at that ink on his back and say "Nah.  I don't think I want to do any work on you.  As a matter of fact, just get the snap out of my place.  Now."

I'm sure the lessons learned here are pretty obvious.

1.  Don't piss of the guy doing the tattoo work on your back.

And 2.  Don't be anything like that other guy at all.


  1. Another Alot!!? Now, I think you're just throwing those in there just to mess with me.

    And don't even get me started on the fact. That the first paragraph should all be one sentence. (See what I did there?)

    Anyway, I can't help wondering what kind of retribution this tattoo artist has in store for him when this guy realizes what's on his back? Or has he already found out? Exactly how dead is the tattoo artist? Just a little dead or really, really, dead? Bend over and check his pulse dead, or raw hamburger all over the walls dead? Sick but inquiring minds want to know.

  2. Bryan- Don't parse me, young man. I'll come down there. And smack you around. Alot.
    It's just the way I write. I can't help it.

    I imagine that one of them was transferred off of the camp pretty quickly. And I also imagine that there will be a big red note in both of their files never to put them on the same camp ever again. But you just never know how these things will work out. I'll keep you posted if I find out any more details.

  3. WOW - me is speechless. Doesn't happen ALOT! (hahahahaha) couldn't help myself!

    I really want to know what's going to happen to that moron with those tats on his back. First of all, who let's someone work on their back without a good buddy watching on - quite frankly he deserves those tats for being STUPID, which should have been tatted somewhere in there too, if anyone was asking.

    1. Jenny- I'm telling ya... This guy was obviously stupid. I'll bet he's still crying over that.

      That's where my rubber stamp idea would come in.

  4. Joe says the same things alot. (Anyone see a trend?) That was an awesome story. Sweet poetic justice in the prison system. They should have released the tattoo guy's or reduced his sentence for this excellent gesture of stupidity.

    I also assume you recovered from your illness. Good to see.

    1. Scotty- Yes, feeling much better. And I think the little guy deserves some recognition for an excellent payback, don't you?