Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Be Careful What You Wish For

Last night on the way out I got a look at the chrono and saw that I was scheduled to be in housing units for the rest of the week. 3 house, 3 house, 2 house.

After being in the Hive for so long I find the regular GP housing units rather boring. Things rarely happen of any import in a GP unit.

And if you have a good or even halfway decent crew in a housing unit they usually don't leave much of anything at all for a sergeant to do. All you are left with is to sit there and sergeant. Which is kind of boring.

KP told me last night "These housing units wouldn't be so boring if they were yours." And that's so true. If I was in a house that was mine I would know most of the inmates and I would know how the house runs and I'd be making my own decisions about the standard operating procedure in the house and it would be more interesting. It would give me something to do other than just sit there and imagine becoming a verb.

Anyway, I didn't complain about the schedule, but I did groan a little theatrically. And roll my eyes a bit. I knew this kind of thing would happen if I got promoted.

Tonight Uncle T called me at 3 house and said "Remember when you whined about being in housing units all week?"

I didn't technically "whine" but.... yeah.

"Well," he said "Your wish came true! You are out on B-yard tomorrow!"

Okay. Cool. I can do that.

Then he adds "Better bring your ear plugs! You have Uncle Scary and Gray Ham out there with you!"

Oh snap. I'll never be able to get a word in edgewise. It will be like being stuck in a nest between two magpies fighting over the same piece of tinfoil. Oh lawsy.

I hear a voice in the background and Uncle T pipes up and says "Lt Baby Boy says if you don't like it, he'll put you in the Hive and sent LB out to B-yard instead!"

Oh, no. I'll take it. I can always disappear into the office and do some of that mysterious sergeant stuff that always needs to be done alone in a locked office somewhere. I'll come out for movements and to make sure the Geritol twins haven't talked each other to death and then sneak off again.


What the snap was I thinking???

So Thursday is going to be National Popcorn Day (Hey! Uncle T! Popcorn!), Tin Can Day and Get To Know Your Customers Day.

Yeah, like that's going to happen.


  1. Tin Can Day? Sounds like the worst holiday ever. Unless you put a string between the can. NOW you've got a party.

    That picture threw me at first. I was like, why is there a worm with eight breasts coming out of that gas can? That's what my daughter calls a "blonde moment."

  2. Bryan- That was the worst Aladdin and his lamp pic I could find. Those white things under the genie threw me for a bit, then I said "Hey! I'll use that one."