Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Is This A Good Time?

I don't know what some people think. It's bad enough dealing with the inmates. They are inmates and you expect them to be stupid.

If you thought about it, you'd expect the people who run the place to be a little smarter than them. After all, they're in charge, right?

It's been a bad couple of weeks with the weather and all and we have been running short of people like crazy. And between this morning and this afternoon we got another two inches of snow dumped on us. Slippery slippery crap, lemme tell ya.

I left uber early just in case it was too bad and I got stuck someplace. It took me maybe an extra ten minutes to get to work and I was nearly crushed between a minivan and a semi truck on the way there. 'Twas a near thing.

We had twelve call-in's when I arrived. It doesn't sound like a lot, but that's about ten percent of our shift. I knew we'd be running skinny.

I noticed the Major was still there when I arrived. Usually he leaves not long after I get there most days. And yeah, before you even say it, I have that affect on alot of people. It was odd that he was still at work.

Then I saw a couple of the Assistant Wardens lurking around the Admin building. And not long after that the Warden Himself came strolling over. I thought "What the snap?" And the robot in the back of my brain was flailing it's short little arms and yelling "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!"

Finally the Fire and Safety Geek came in with some sort of VIP on his arm and they all went back into one of the visiting rooms.

Once they were all assembled they had a list of participants they needed for whatever it was they were doing. They called: Lt Wheelie (who was our only available zone lieutenant), Sgt IHOP from 1 house, Sausage (the only regular on B-yard), Walleye from 6 house (the bubble officer), Littlest B from the Hive and some new little dude from 10 house that I don't know very well but doesn't seem very bright.

We were already down twelve custody officers and their little meeting shorted us another six (two of which were critical spots) for about three hours. Uncle Scary from 9 yard and the Watcher from 30 yard had to keep popping back and forth to help cover B-yard. I don't know who helped cover the Hive and 1 house.

Supposedly it was some sort of preparedness scenario and they did it all on paper rather than try to run a live drill, which was a sort of blessing in disguise. I'm sure if they had tried to run something with the weather and staff shortages being what they were it could have gotten ugly quick.

But you would think somebody would have looked around and said "No. We are already too short on staff right now. Let's do this some other time."

Well, that didn't happen. We just had to grit our teeth and go with it. Shortages and all. It's no wonder I'm prematurely grey.

I got through Toothache Day without one, and I guess I'll manage on Umbrella Day tomorrow without one of those as well. Even if I had one, we aren't allowed to carry them inside the fence. But for those of you who might need an umbrella, tomorrow is the day to carry one.

Stay dry!


  1. Your nicknames are so funny, definitely some weird mental images. Do you actually call these peeps those names when you are at work or is that just your blog names for them?

  2. I'm surprised they didn't try to run a drill. Albert Einstein once said, "Only two things are infinite, the universe, and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."

  3. Sgt. IHOP & Sausage. It's five in the afternoon and I want breakfast now.

  4. Misty- Some of the names I use were already in place. Some I made up. Almost all of them are evocative of that person in one way or another. And yes, some of them do get used at work.

    Bad Actor- This was a pretty heavy duty scenario they were running. A massive earthquake. Lots of dead. One of them was me, apparently. Killed up in the Comm room. What a rip! Good thing I bought life insurance.

    Bryan- Sgt IHOP always drinks this maple flavored coffee creamer so it always smells like pancakes wherever he is. And Sausage is... well... Sausage.