Tuesday, November 23, 2010


There are some things that just shouldn't be mixed.

Or, I should say, there are certain people who shouldn't be mixed with me.

That idiot I was paired with tonight being the prime example. I've written about him before and once gave him some sort of clever nickname which I can't remember right at the moment. I'll just go ahead and call him Frankenjerk for the time being. It fits him.

At least I didn't really have to work with him. I only saw him every two hours. The Lt stuck me in the P-car/Sallyport tonight. And Frankenjerk was the other half. I swapped off with him every two hours. Thankfully, I only had to interact with him for a few minutes.

Aside from being thoroughly annoyed the night was pretty much uneventful.

Well, pretty much.

One of our microwave sensors developed a glitch and the zone alarm kept going off all night long. I think they called for us to check that zone at least fifteen times in eight hours. Though I do suspect that some of those calls were just yanking my chain. I made the mistake of letting Vinnie know it annoyed me so I think he added a few extra calls in just to twist my tail a little bit.

Ah well, it's all in good fun. And it gave me something to do while I was out there driving around doing nothing. It's too bad there wasn't something to do in my four hours in the sally port. Except for my ludicrous relief, I saw nobody and did nothing. Well, I did manage to read 196 pages of a book. That's something, I guess.

And while I was in the P-car I did get to see something a little bit startling. The back road of our perimeter is also a public road. And right behind the prison is the county jail. Occasionally we get to see somebody who has just gotten released walking down the road.

I'm driving down the road in the dark and I see someone walking and he's waving something to get my attention. I slow down some distance away (like I'm supposed to) and look. Here's this idiot walking down the road wearing nothing but sneakers, yellow swim trunks and a hat waving his release papers at me.

He says "Hey, man. You got a phone I can borrow?"

I shake my head. "Nope."

Then he says "Can I bum a cigarette, then?"

I just shake my head and drive on. I stop just inside our property to make sure he keeps going down the road. What a doofus.

Yesterday my Dad calls me from Washington and says they are getting their first snow of the season. Yesterday here it was almost seventy degrees. Tonight we were under a tornado watch and a severe thunderstorm warning. It rained and flashed like crazy but that's all. But a few people said they saw hail on their way in to work this evening. I'm glad I missed it.

On the up side, I got hugs from two really good smelling girls on the way out tonight. Sometimes it really pays to be me.

Today was Start Your Own Country Day. I'm sorry I missed that one. But tomorrow is Cashew Day. Yay! I love them things. What better way to say "I love you" than with a bag of cashews? Get in line and get yours early! I'm sure the supplies won't last!

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