I got quite a lucrative job offer today.
I'd almost forgotten that I had been offered this job a couple of years ago. I'm glad I didn't take it then, because I'd still be waiting for the paycheck, but apparently the job is still open.
One of the inmates down in wobblehead-land.... I'll call him Mr. Smith, but he much prefers Dr. Smith, because he has a degree in something...... I think he said he's a Psychiatrist..... Or something like that.
At any rate, he has developed this ground breaking new program for treating offenders. He has it all typed up and said today that he talked with one of the assistant wardens about implementing it here. It has a snazzy acronym.... something like GRUB or GRAB or something like that.
Claims it will revolutionize the corrections field all over the country.
And you have to believe the man, after all he's been a Force Recon Marine and an ROTC instructor in both weapons and hand to hand combat. He was also a Colonel in the police force somewhere up north in one of the big cities.
Plus, he used to play basketball with Barack Obama when they were both younger and he should be hearing from him real soon. Apparently there used to be some hard feelings between them because Barack thought Dr. Smith was trying to take Michelle away from him. But he says she's too skinny.
So anyway he's offering to pay me $140,000 a year (to start) and insurance and full benefits, paid sick days and vacation, just to get his program off the ground. He saw me tackle some other offender down in the Hive a few years ago and likes the way I handle myself. He says that's what got me the job.
I allowed as how I was getting a bit old to be tackling people like that and he told me that in his new program if an offender got out of control, I'd be allowed to shoot them.
Of course you've probably realized by now that Dr. Smith is nuttier than a hat full of wet hamsters.
But he's entertaining.
And I could really do alot with $140,000 a year. That's a whole lotta comic books!
Tomorrow is Take A Hike Day. So if you happen across anybody whom you need to tell that to, wait until tomorrow. It'll be the perfect day for it. Oooo, I've got a whole list of them! Yowza!
Puppy stuff - *Many people told me I'd be better off adopting a shelter dog that was already grown rather than a puppy, because that way I wouldn't have the trials of ho...
1 week ago