Today was payday. Or, as some say "The eagle s**t today." My twice monthly pittance from the state. Arrgh. It still burns me at times. I have been told we are the highest trained and the lowest paid corrections officers in the country. I don't know if the highest trained part is true or not. I've never been to any other states and don't know how their departments are run. But I'd sure like to find out. I'm pretty sure about the lowest paid part. I've looked on the internet at other states and see what they pay. I could go to Idaho or Arkansas or flippin' Wisconsin and make more money than I am here! Every two weeks when I get my pay stub I tell the wife "Let's sell this dump and blow this popstand!" To which she sagely replies "Come up with the eighty grand we still owe on the house and enough cash to move with and I'll start packing."
Always the pragmatist, my wife is. I'd have been eaten by moles years ago if it wasn't for her.
Anyway, I stopped in to get my check stub and there sat my boss, right next to the lady with the checks, and she asks me "Are you going to the Christmas party?" To which I reply "No, I don't like C.O's" And she just smiles and says "Okay, you can hang out with me then. It's five dollars for you and the wife."
What could I do? It's the boss. And she's kept me out of trouble a few times already. So...
I fish in my wallet and give her my last five bucks for a ticket to a party neither the wife and I really want to go to. Sometimes I'm too nice.
What the heck. I might enjoy it. They say the food is going to be good and a few of the people I really like are going to be there. And I'll blow out the door before people start getting hammered. I don't drink anymore and it annoys me being around people who do. To excess, anyway. Anything more than a mild buzz and you are really going to get on my nerves, mister.
Sometimes it's more than just eight hours in the day. We donate food to the foods drives. I buy raffle tickets to support this or that. I donate blood when the red cross comes around. They like me, I'm a universal donor. They ask for stuff for needy families at christmas and we usually donate some stuff. I gave two leaf bags full of old clothes to their thrift store thing. I sign get well cards and retirement cards and birthday cards for people I don't even know. I've eaten more store-bought birthday cake in the last five years than I ever have before in my life. And I still lost twenty pounds in the last three years!
So the next time you see a corrections officer on teevee and he's one of them no-neck beetle-browed cro-magnon lookin bruisers they always seem to cast in our role, imagine him going to Wal-Mart to buy a teddy bear for a kid he doesn't even know. Or even better, stopping at the store in uniform on the way home to buy feminine hygiene products (Tampons! There, I said it! Tampons!) for his daughter. If nothing else, you'll get a giggle out of it.
P.S. Got two hits from Canada on the blog today! One from Moncton, New Brunswick and one from Whitchurch-stouffville, Ontario. And the Great Pacific Northwet is still leading the pack with hits from Seattle to Salem! This is so cool.
Chief cook and bottle-washer - *I take my job as Cliff's cook seriously. It's easy, really, since he likes almost everything in the way of food, and so do I. Anyway, since I'm the cook...
13 hours ago