I was in the Sergeant majors house tonight. Me and the Sergeant Major and the Menace and Donzarelli. Quite a crew.
Hotter than a ten dollar Rolex outside. I could barely stand to do a wing walk, let alone go outside. At least the freaking inmates can change into their shorts and run around without a shirt on outside. We're stuck wearing all of this crap for eight hours. I was sweating like a you-know-what in you-know-where.
And that's a lot, let me tell you.
Right after yards opened they sent us two OJT's. Two different ones than the ones Goosey and I had yesterday. Both were ex-military. I figured that was a good starting point. If they can get through basic training, then maybe they can make it here. Of course, basic aint nothing like it was when the Sergeant major and I went through. Nosirreebob! No "stress cards" back then!
One was a young guy. Hell, they were both young. Neither of them looked old enough to drive, let alone work in a prison. This dude was pretty cocksure and not really wanting to look weak or uncertain about anything. The Sergeant Major got him to pat search OG B out on the yard. Ol' B made some remarks about how soft the kids hands were and invited him up to his cell later for a little more private instruction. The kid didn't say anything, but he sure could blush!
The other OJT was a young lady from up in The City. She saw her very first live skunk today. She had never actually seen one before and I was just dumbfounded. There was one rooting around in the trash and I made a noise to get it's attention then got her as close as she was willing to go. And every time that little critter twitched it's tail she was ready to make a run for the house.
It was funny as hell.
So I filled her in on all of the assorted critters I have encountered inside the fence in the last seven years. The skunks and the cats and the mice and the bunnies and snakes and bats and the cockroaches.
And of course, the ghosts. I couldn't forget those.
I think I taught her a few useful things, too. Gave her a few tips about life inside the fence.
Maybe even told her something that might save her life or someone else.
But mainly I just freaked her out.
It's a wonder that they let me loose among live people at all.
"Don't Quit Your Day Job" - By Jerry Zezima Stamford Advocate When my kids were young and had already fallen into the expensive habit of eating every day, I came to a sad realization: ...
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