Somewhat Embarrassing

Well, that wasn't how I planned on starting my week.

I felt fine when I left for work.

But after awhile I started feeling a bit headachy and..... heavy.  Like I weighted about three hundred pounds.

It felt wonderful to sit down, like I'd slipped apart from gravity.

I remember going in and sitting down at my desk.  Then I remember asking Miz Slim to shut the door.

The next thing I knew there were about three hundred people in my office, all asking me if I was okay.  Sgt Uncle Buck was in my face asking me what was wrong and Miz Twang was there putting something cool on my forehead and panting like she'd just run the marathon.  And somebody was shaking my desk.  Weird.

At one point someone said I was incoherent.  I disagreed.  Coherently.  I think, anyway.

I thought "Oh, this isn't good."

Then there was a nurse there taking my blood pressure and my wife walked in the room.

I thought "Oh.  This definitely isn't good."

Then Capt Wheelie was there cracking bad jokes and telling the nurse I probably needed an enema.  If I could have gotten up I'd have at least flicked the end of his nose for that.

They held up releasing the house until they got me outside.  I got to walk past all of the inmates with Miz Slim under one arm and Miz Twang under the other one.

Hey, at least I got a classy escort.

Put me on the cart and drove me out through the sally port and out to the parking lot and right up to the wife's van.  And I got to listen to her threaten to take me to the hospital all the way home.

I suspect it's just the flu.  Hot and cold running sweats.  A 99.9 fever.  It's amazing what the bare minimum over a degree will do to you.

And I suspect I won't be going to work tomorrow either.

There goes my plan of building up some comp time.

That was really embarrassing.  I'm just saying...