Those of you who have been reading this know the kind of relationship I tend to have with our staff Pshrinks. I don't always agree with them, but I do support them. The ones that actually "work", anyway. There's a few of the pencil-pusher Pshrinks that I am at odds with, but that's another matter.Today, however, I'm a little pissed at one of ours.
Last night we got "Gumby" back in the house again. Apparently he picked the wrong officer to get stupid with down by the wobblehead house. They brought him in with a few bumps and bruises and put him on suicide watch (of course).
Today when I came in he had painted his cell with poop. Not a real original thinker, our Gumby. They had taken him out and put him in the shower while the biohazard guys came down to scrub out the cell. The dipsnap refused to give up his cuffs, refused to shower (!) (ewwww!) and then refused to come out of the shower when his cell was ready.
I kept an ear on him while they were out discussing the matter and I realized that he had slipped one of his cuffs and put it back much looser on his wrist. I reported this as soon as someone came back in the wing. I didn't want to take a chance on getting clocked in the head with a handcuff. That sort of thing would sting a bit, I believe.
So Sarge got him to turn around and let him tighten the cuffs and double lock them. He's not so stupid he wants to catch another case for an assault on staff. The Big Pshrinks up at the Mental Hospital have already decreed that most of his problem is behavioral, not psychological.
In other words, he's just an a**hole.
They send down one of the Pshrinks to talk to him and get him out of the shower. He (Gumby) is putting on this show about not feeling safe in the cell and that someone is out to hurt him in there. We all know it's just a bunch of crap. He just wants to be let out of the hole so he can go out on the yard and continue to be an a**hole.
We wait and wait and wait and I'm starting to get the feeling that we are going to have to just go in there and drag him back to the cell, one way or another. Finally, I get fed up and go out to smoke. While I'm gone they go in there and just calmly walk him back into the cell. And before they shut the door, they put a mattress in the cell!
I'm thinking "What the snap?"
I get back inside and they tell me "He said he'd go back in the cell if we gave him a mattress and his clothes back, so the Pshrink said okay."
There's a big sign up in the Control Center that states "We do not negotiate in hostage situations."
Well, you can just throw that thing out the window, I guess. Because apparently you can get damn near anything you want by holding a piece of this prison hostage. Even a damn shower stall. Even yourself.
No wonder this country is in such lousy shape. Nobody is allowed to spank the baby when baby is being bad. All you can do is say "No-no!" before you give them what they want.
Crap.
