Nightmare On Raccoon Street

What do these three celebrities have in common?

Well, I'll tell you. It might come as a shock.

It certainly did to me.

It was a busy night all over the camp. Nothing really spectacular, just random silliness that seemed to keep everybody hopping pretty steadily.

I was managing to keep my head above water for the most part. Until I got the radio call from CTC.

I've talked about them before. They are the guys that are too mentally disturbed to live out in general population with the other inmates, so they are kept separate. The crazy practically leaks out of that place.

I always hate it when they call me. It's rarely anything good.

Anyway, I go pupping on down there and they tell me this one offender is wanting protective custody, claiming that he's being sexually assaulted.

I thought "Oh snap... Here we go..." I figured the paperwork on this one was going to last me all night. So I sit down to talk to the guy and find out what his deal is.

Well, it turns out that he claims that Louis Farrakhan (head of the Nation of Islam Church) and Bill Cosby (the comedian) were sexually molesting him in his dreams.

Just like Freddy Kruger. Imagine that.

He went on to claim that all of the staff knew about it and we weren't doing anything about it because Louis Farrakhan had him put in prison so we would all have jobs.

If that's true I may have to send old Lou a thank you card or something.

Anyway, I kept the smirk off of my face and said "Let me make a phone call. I'll be right back."

So I called Lt Wyatt and told him the story. But I left out Bill Cosby. He asked me if there was any evidence of sexual assault.

I just stopped and looked at the phone for a second. Then said "No. There's no need. I don't think Louis Farrakhan is actually on this camp. I'm pretty sure he is just coming in the guys dreams."

Wow. Okay. I admit that I had to look him up, too. But I was already pretty sure he wasn't here.

Luckily, the guy wanted to go to the Hive for a few days of R&R. He didn't give us any trouble and went on his merry way.

But the whole thing just left me shaking my head.

Bill Cosby? Really?

Hearing Voices

BG and I have our spots out on the rec yard where we like to sit. I sit to the right of the door, leaning up against the fence and he sits to the left against the wall. That way I'm facing away from the sun and he can lean back into the shade of the building, if there is any.

Unfortunately, That puts my chair right in front of the window for C-7. Not close enough to get spit on or anything (but it has been tried) but close enough that they can see me clearly and hold a conversation.

There have been some really strange conversations take place out of that window.

Take the other day for instance. One of our frequent fliers from the wobblehead house was in there on suicide watch. As a matter of fact, he's the one I keep getting subpoenas for that they keep canceling the court date. Yeah, that guy.

At any rate, he was complaining that he never did or said anything, they just put him on suicide watch for no reason! I looked in his file and while they were locking him up he stated "I'm going to either hurt myself or make you beat my a*s every single day." Go figure. Sounded just like something he'd say.

I could tell he was off his meds again. Every time he gets off them he starts talking about other people hurting him. That was the one thing he always fixated on when he started paddling around in the shallow end of his brain. Other people were hurting him and he always ended up lashing out at someone over it. That's usually why he ended up in the Hive.

He said: "They kept hitting me with their keys, man. Taking my flesh off right to the bone. I don't know why those C.O.'s kept walking by and hitting me. They just kept doing that and I couldn't take it no more. Mother fu*kers kept shooting me with tracers and putting things in me and sucking out all my blood."

Hmm... yup. He's off his meds again!

And all we can do is keep urging him to take them and hope he will land back on this planet again in a day or two.

I'm trying really hard not to get into a tussle with anyone until my arm heals back up again. And I sure as hell don't want to get involved in another court case with him.

After awhile, I just moved my chair so he couldn't see me anymore. Couldn't take too much of that rambling, if you know what I mean.

Some days I almost wonder what it's like to talk to normal people.