Showing posts with label hypothetical hyperbole. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hypothetical hyperbole. Show all posts

Friday, May 6, 2011

I've Been Wrong All This Time

Since pretty much nothing other than rain happened today, I thought I might write about something just a little different.

I mean, things happened, they just weren't very exciting. I found a broken padlock that mysteriously fixed itself when it got into someone else's hands. When I was heating up my hamburger I dropped my mustard packet into the ketchup. The parking brake slipped off of the cart and I had to chase it down the hill and pulled a muscle in my back trying to get it stopped again. We all thought there was going to be a tornado when the storm front rolled in, but one never appeared. Sausage chattered at me until my brain tried to chew it's way out of my skull. And it rained on me every time I stepped outside.

But other than that, nothing really happened.

So....

I found out this morning, while doing unrelated research, that I have been using the word 'Hyperbole' wrong all of my life and nobody ever corrected me on it. I was even pronouncing it wrong and no one ever said anything. I always said Hi-Per-Bowl instead of Hi-Per-Buh-Lee, like it's supposed to be.

I do like my pronunciation better. But that's beside the point.

For years I have been using the word in place of the word 'hypothetical'. Saying "In a hyperbole situation like, what would you do if you found a live swordfish in your glove compartment?"

Now that I realize that I have been doing that, I feel really stupid. And I've been doing it for years. Why didn't anybody ever say anything?

I am such a nimrod sometimes.

I guess now that my dirty little secret is out, I'll just go check the calendar then go sulk under the covers. I have to be in early tomorrow for shotgun training anyway. Pfui.

Friday is going to be Beverage Day. Hoist a few for me! It is also Joseph Brackett (?) Day, Nurse Recognition Day, No Diet day, No Homework Day, No Pants Day and Tuba Day.

P.S. I looked it up for you. Joseph Brackett was a songwriter and Elder in the Shaker church. He wrote a song called "Simple Gifts" which apparently got big a hundred years after he wrote it.