I hate wearing the black band on my badge. Because it means one of ours has passed and we are out a comrade and a friend.
Just like seeing the fine lads of the honor guard, with their highly polished boots and shiny brass and cocked berets. They look so solemn and professional and I am always proud to see them representing us.
But at the same time I hate to see them because most of the time it means that another one of us is gone.
It seems like these last couple of years have been particularly hard on us here in Raccoon City.
I've taken to carrying the band in my wallet.
Last week a tragedy took two of ours.
The rest of us are left to pick up the pieces.
Our lives are smaller because of their passing.
And there are two more who won't be at our backs when things go bad.
But if things go really bad I'll be in good company.
I'll leave my band for someone else to wear.
Welcome back, Rev. Wish it was under better circumstances. My condolences.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences as well, Rev.
ReplyDeleteWhat's nice to know also is out here you also have a "band" of a different sort. A band of common folk brought together by our words we share, and those words we often laugh together or cry silently to ourselves. These words you lay out today are sad, but funny in a way. Funny how people you never meet band together to have your back in your time of loss.
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys.
ReplyDeleteI didn't want to write about this at all.
But the pressure in my brain just reached the point where I had to get it out of my head in some way.
I've spent the last week listening to others trying to sort out their feelings. And being a supervisor, I let myself be the sounding board for their grief and loss, but didn't really take the time to examine my own mind.
Thanks for listening.
I'm so sorry about your loss. Make sure you have someone who listens to YOU too. Hugs.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the "Black band" is a reminder of our own mortality. Might be wrong - but methinks EVERYONE ... would like to believe that we 'live on' - if only in memory.
ReplyDeleteScrews like all men of steel rust out in the end.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you...
ReplyDeleteI'm no good at finding the right words at times like this but I hope you are coping and are able to take your wonderful memories of your friend and tuck them safely into the folds of your heart.
Hugs, Jenny
Oy, methinks it's about time ya got yer sense of humour back ... que
ReplyDeleteUm, don't tell me ya doing a Ratzinger ?
ReplyDeleteThinking about you, but it's very true
ReplyDeletehttp://www.secuforce.in
Thought I would stop in, in case you are still out here. Wanted you to know your "internet pals" are waiting to know things are well with you.
ReplyDeleteWas hoping you were back...nope...still not here...were did you go Rev?
ReplyDelete