Skip This Post If You Have A Weak Stomach

I sometimes talk about "The Good Old Days" down in the Hive.

But really they weren't all that good. It's always been a dangerous nasty place to work and back then it was even nastier and more dangerous. Lots of uses of force and lots of assaults on staff and lots of chances to get hurt or come down with some nasty disease or both.

One of their favorite pastimes back then was to play with their poop. Not just throwing it at us, which did happen quite often. But painting with it like toddlers in the bathtub.

I never really figured out exactly why they did that. I guess they thought they were "getting back" at us for whatever reason. It never really bothered me all that much. I didn't have to clean it up. We have other inmates for that.

This kind of shenanigans used to occur quite often. And quite often more than once a day. We worked our poor bio-hazard worker half to death some nights.

Me, I just smeared some Vicks under my nose and went on about my business.

Anyway, that practice kind of tapered off after awhile, much to our relief. It wasn't really all that much fun having to wrestle with an inmate covered in poop, believe me. More than once I had to sit in Central in a pair of borrowed pants while my uniform got washed. And I used to keep a bucket of bleach water by the back door to dip my boots in when I came home at night. We had little ones in the house back than and I didn't want to track that stuff on my carpets at home.

In those days the floors in the Hive were often awash with all sorts of nasty things, including almost every sort of body fluid you can imagine.

But it hasn't gone on in quite some time. Thankfully.

Tonight when I got down there I knew something was going on. There was a familiar.... scent in the air. It almost made me nostalgic for a moment. When i got inside they told me that two of their wobbleheads on suicide watch had been playing in their poop repeatedly throughout the day.

That made me real eager to get to work..... yeah.

Luckily, we managed to forestall any further nonsense on our shift. I guess the two idiots had gotten tired and decided to lay down for awhile. Maybe they were empty and just saving up for the next salvo, I don't know. But for whatever reason, I didn't care.

I'm just glad I didn't have to wrestle a naked man covered in poop.

And I'm pretty damn happy about that, thank you.

So here's the weekend lineup:
Wednesday will be Lost Sock Memorial Day (with a special lint candle light vigil), National Night Shift Workers Day, School Nurse Day and National Butterscotch Brownie Day.

Thursday will be Clean Up Your Room Day, Lupus Day, Windmill Day and National Shrimp Day.

Friday will be Eat What You Want Day and Twilight Zone Day as well as Child Care Provider Day and Military Spouse Appreciation Day.

Me, I'll be moving the furniture. Wheee!