Thursdays are my day on the yard. I usually look forward to most parts of my Thursdays. A few parts, like doing the Del Norte walk, can really suck. Especially if the weather is nasty. Or wading the mud doing the inner perimeter check.But for the most part I know I will at least have a few minutes of fun hanging out with Sgt Uncle T. Even if the rest of the night goes bad, I know that at some point we will get together and have a laugh about something.
Sausage was out for training so they sent us Silent Bob. I knew that meant that we were going to have more time to have a conversation because Bob is, well.... silent. But I'd at least get a grin out of him when Uncle T was doing something silly. I'd lean over and look at Bob and shrug like "See what I have to put up with?" He'd just grin and shake his head.
So Uncle T and I got to talking and I mentioned something I saw on the Weather Channel up in the comm room the other night. A tree or something had blown down in a storm and crushed the roof of a car flat and a man was still trapped inside of it. They had an interview with the Fire Chief who helped cut the guy free and he said "We just took and cut the roof off of that car."
That phrase just whirled around in my brain like a swarm of very confused bees. Look at it again:
"We just took and cut the roof off of that car."
Took? Took what? Took it where? Did you bring it back or are you admitting to stealing something?
It seemed to me like there was an unauthorized and completely superfluous verb there.
Uncle T looked at me and smiled and said "Just like mayonnaise."
"What?"
"Mayonnaise alot of ways they could have took and cut the roof off of that car, don't ya think?"
So it was like that all night long.
"Mayonnaise alot of inmates out on this here yard!"
"He just took and walked down to laundry!"
The best one was:
"Mayonnaise alot of mayonnaise on that sammich. So I just took and scraped some of it off!"
And through it all Silent Bob just sat there and grinned and shook his head. I'm sure he thinks we're both idiots. Or possibly insane.
He's probably not far off, if you want to know the truth.
Friday is going to be Checkers Day and Dogs In Politics Day. Wasn't Checkers already a dog in politics? It's also going to be Celebrate Bi-Sexuality Day, Hug A Veterinarian Day, Love Note Day and Mabon.
Get your Autumnal groove on!
MAAAYYOO!!
ReplyDeleteMAAAAYYOO!!
DAY LI COME MANNIE WANNA GO HOME!
HAHAHAHA
Veri word is vastsy.
I have nothing....used up my creative juices turning that song from Beetle Juice into a mayo song.
And yet I can hear someone saying that and having it sound completely natural....with a certain kind of accent, of course.
ReplyDeleteThere's this woman at work that always talks about inanimate objects and such "wanting" things. Like, she'll look out at the clouds and say, "It looks like it wants to rain." Like what wants to rain? The sky?
We make the lids that go on wet-wipes, the kind you pull out through the cross-hairs like Kleenex. She hands me one one day and say, "Number 6 wants to burn." Huh? Either it's burning or it isn't. I told her, "When these parts start wanting things, I'm heading for the door. God knows what they'll want next."
I used to kow a guy who would throw a bitch fit if you said "pick-up truck. It"s a pick-up, the truck is superfluous, he would say.
ReplyDeleteI finally told him I had to specify what kind of pick-up it was.
"'My pick-up seemed to be sagging after going mudding last night' means one thing if I'm talking about my truck and another after hooking up with your mom at the bar," I told him.
He quit bitching afer that.
Veriword; uncorbil.
Adj. def: Not corbil.
After going mudding with your mom, I done and gone to the clinic for one of there there std tests.
ReplyDeleteVeriword: icapate.
Icapate the test will come back positive.
FlyinMonkey- I think your secret dream of being a karaoke star just went down the tubes.
ReplyDeleteBryan- I love colloquialisms. Had some friends from Arkansas that would use "carry" all the time. "Would you carry me into town?"
"Heck no. But if you get in the car I'll drive you there!"
Doug- Actually it's the pick-up part that's superfluous, I think. It's a truck.
"Done and gone". That's another good one.
Is his mom where you get all that cheese from? (grin)
I don't think I feel right calling my little quarter-ton a "truck." That would be like calling a teacher's aid a "teaching professional." Technically true, but not quite telling the whole story.
ReplyDeleteAnd no. That is a type of cheese I don't like :)