The Perfect Spokesman?

I was on my way home tonight, composing my blog entry in my head. I had it all figured out how I was going to write about how they blew a hole in the levee after all because a federal judge said that our 180,000 acres of farmland and 200 homes were less important than a town of 2,800 people and is, from what I've heard, a dump anyway. It sounds to me, from the descriptions, that the place would probably benefit from a good rinsing out.

Anyway.

I was on my way home, like I said, composing my post and listening to the radio with half an ear while I drove and thought.

And this radio commercial comes on for some prescription-strength allergy medicine that is sold over the counter. Claims it will allay all of your allergy ills with one small pill and won't make you drowsy like some of those other medicines.

Their radio spokesman? None other than Alice Cooper.

Seriously.

Would you buy anything based on his recommendation?

Let me rephrase that.

Would you buy anything that didn't come rolled up in a baggie based on his recommendation?

Seriously. They might as well have gotten Keith Richards or even Charlie Sheen to endorse their product.

I'm not doubting the man's talent, but do you think someone who devoted their life to craziness and excesses is a good celebrity spokesman for a drug company? A legitimate drug company?

"Hi. I'm Alice Cooper. Use this product or Satan will move into your underwear drawer and I'll come bite the head off your cat."

I think if I ran into Alice Cooper on the streets and he said "Here, try this stuff, man! It's killer!" I'd probably believe him. But if he came up to me trying to hawk allergy pills as the cure for my ailments I'd just stand there and look at him funny and wonder if I was on Candid Camera or something.

I'm just saying.

Anyway, they blew the levee and we will probably be getting some of those level 5 inmates pretty soon, unless they find some other place to put them until the waters subside. It's going to be a large pain in the butt and nobody is looking forward to the extra hassle and drain on our manpower that this will entail.

That all being said, let's check the calendar, shall we?

Sorry about the rant there. It just struck a weird nerve.

Wednesday is Lumpy Rug Day. It is also National Disabled Pets Day (?), Two Different Colored Shoes Day, Garden Meditation Day, Public Radio Day and Paranormal Day.

Wow. I think I'll stick with the lumpy rug. Got one of those already.