More Paperwork

KP and I got into a little bit of a tussle with this squirrely little inmate tonight.

No big deal. Nobody really got hurt.

Apparently this little nutjob has some medical condition that makes one wrist bigger than the other. It looks swollen, but it's not due to an injury. But he has been playing it up.

We had to move him into a different cell and when I went to take the cuffs off of him he yelled and tried to pull my cuffs into the cell with him. Since his cellie was in there in cuffs I wasn't going to have him loose in the cell with one cuff on his wrist to use as a weapon.

So I hung onto the other one and KP grabbed his arm. There was no way in hell we were going to let him get both arms free in there like that.

Then I looked down and realized he had broken my favorite cuff key.

That sort of pissed me off.

I started to say "You little mother.." and KP talked right over the top of me (keeping a firm hold on the knuckleheads wrist all the while) saying "Turn around right now and stick your hand back out here!"

A distraction technique, you see. He was distracting me, not the inmate. Reminding me we had something to get done here. That's why he's my hero.

So we took him back out of the cell and figured that since he was planning on being such a problem anyway, we should go ahead and relocate him to C-wing.

Then he started telling everybody that I had assaulted him. I imagine that I will get pulled out under investigation. Damn.... I was going for the record.

So three hours of paperwork for the use of force and another hour for the broken cuff key later it was time to go home.

And just to make matters worse while we were up doing the paperwork, one of the yard sergeants referred to me as "Our version of WD." Someone I won't name out loud but who is well known for dubious uses of force and has been kicked out of more housing units that I have ever worked.

That pissed me off worse than the broken cuff key. What an a**hole.

And I got to make the Captain mad for trying to be efficient. He apologized later. That was a bit startling.

So if anything is wrong with the paperwork, I will not be answering my phone this weekend.

I will be making chairs instead.