Time Is Fleeting

When I got a chance yesterday I got on the computer to clean out my mailbox. After being gone so long the stuff was really piled up.

I think I get more "junk" emails at work than I do at home.

But there was one from the Wardens secretary titled "Subpoena". Uh-oh. I opened and it said that I had a subpoena in the Wardens office and I should pick it up at my earliest convenience.

Oh snap! I try to stay clear of the Wardens office at all costs. That place is almost as dangerous as the Majors office. Don't want to spend too much time in there, either.

So I went in a bit early and as luck would have it I spotted the Warden Himself outside chatting with someone. So I snuck around to the side door and nipped up to see his secretary. She gives me this grimace and hands me this paper.

You remember the court case I was going to have to go testify in several months ago that got canceled?

Well, they have rescheduled it.

For sometime in January, 2010. Aint that just a humdinger. Almost two years after the incident and they want me to testify.

I can't even remember what I ate for dinner last night!

No, wait. It was my daughters lasagna. Mmmmmmm....... I remember that. Good stuff.

But I can barely remember why we are going to court. And they are going to want details I'm not sure of. Especially by next year. Harumph. Stupidity.

And as to Chuck...... well, he called out again. Apparently he has this story now about how he went fishing and fell off of a cliff.

Little Tire Man saw him over at the admin building and said he was all banged up. Said he looked like something the cat would have buried.

I guess I'll be nice to him.

But I'm still crabby about it. Especially after I saw the line up they got for us this week. If I was of a suspicious nature, I'd say the Lieutenant on the books is trying to drive me insane.

It's going to be a bad week, I can tell. It would have been better if Chuck was there.

KP, if you aren't coming in, you better let me know now. Cos' I aint going, either!

Bring Out The Big Guns

I'll tell you about my first day back in a moment.

But something happened while I was away. I never hear about this stuff. People always want to wait until I get back. Pfui.

Apparently, some knucklehead climbed up on top of the pavilion on B-side last week and refused to come down because two of the C.O.'s in his house were "mistreating" him.

I know this idiot and he needs to be mistreated. He's another young punk who thinks he's a badas*. He needs to be in pelican Bay or Folsom where the big kids will teach him what a badas* he isn't.

If you get my drift.

At any rate, the Warden authorized them to bring in a shotgun with "non-lethal ammunition" (probably rubber bullets) into the institution and bring him down no matter what.

Go Warden! Yeah!

Unfortunately, he decided to get down on his own before this could happen. Too bad. Enough of those idiots would have seen it happen through their cell windows that the message would sink in a little. They would know we aren't fooling around.

But it didn't happen so the silliness will continue. It seems to be escalating and somebody is going to get hurt bad.

Hopefully it isn't one of us.

So anyway, my first day back was hectic. Locking them up and kicking them out left and right. We are completely full down in the Hive so every time they lock one up we have to kick one out early. And I actually had someone refuse to leave. That was startling. Whatever.

And that buttcake Chuck call out again. I'm happy that he has found love or lust or lunch or whatever it is he has found but the rat bastard needs to start coming to work regularly. He left us in a bind. And I don't know what it was that Vinnie and Ms. Freud did on their first date, but it left him so sore he had to go home early. Whatever that was, don't do it again. If you are doing it right, it's only supposed to hurt for a little while, not leave you doubled up in pain the next day. Read the manuals, fer gawds sakes!

My first day back was busy and hectic and loud and stupid. And it made me really question why I do this kind of work. Why do I subject myself to this abuse day after day? I'm sure I don't know. Just a glutton for punishment, I guess.

The End Is Near!

So ends my vacation. The first week of it, anyway. I work five days this week and then I get another week off.

I do wonder if I will survive.

I wonder if my crew will kill me. I'm sure they'd like to right about now.

But that's what I have life insurance for, I guess.

And I know the wife is ready to have me out of the house. Making too many messes. Besides, I'm eating too much. I'm losing my girlish figure.

Anyway, I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I'm sure it will be action packed.

Vinnie stopped by this evening. Said things go a little crazy. He was on his way out on a date with the young Ms. Freud. I hope I at least get an update tomorrow.

Ah... young love..... (grin)

Glad I don't have to go through that again.

TTFN!

Missed The Day

Aargh! Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my blog and I missed it! I got busy and tired and forgot about it completely.

I was gonna wear a funny hat and everything. Pfui.

Now I'll have to think about enough stuff to keep going for another whole year! Waaaah!

Maybe I'll just wear the hat anyway. I'm known for my hats.

On The Seventh Day, He Rested

No, I'm not having delusions of grandeur. I'm just tired. Yesterday I spent most of the day building a rolling rack for all of my plywood and sheet goods type stuff. I had this huge unruly pile of plywood and plastic over by the shop door and it kept spilling out. And of course anything I wanted was always at the back of the pile.

So I went and bought some more heavy duty wheels and a few more 2x4's and built a rolling rack that I could swing out to get the stuff out I wanted. And when I got it built and loaded it was almost too heavy to roll across the floor. And it is so heavy that the floor has to be clean for it to move.

Good reason for me to keep the floor swept often, I guess.

By the time I got done building and stacking everything I was too tired to move anymore. And every time I did move, something in my body went "snap". Snap!

So today I rested.

I played 3 games of Risk against the computer. Lost 2 of them. I played Mafia Wars on My Space. I read The Artemis Fowl Files by Eoin Colfer and started The Tales Of Beedle The Bard by J.K. Rowling. I watched John Carpenters "The Thing" and when my daughter came home from school we watched Ray Bradburys "Something Wicked This Way Comes" while we ate dinner. I took my daughter out to drive some more and started teaching her how to parallel park. I should have covered again coming to a complete stop before putting the truck in park.

Yeah, that's important. The truck and I both survived.

Tomorrow I've got some more work to do down in the shop. There's a few bats of insulation that needs to get put in up in the loft storage area. I guess that is my cue to clean out the loft, eh? That is probably going to take all day.

I need to go back to work so I don't need to work so hard, I think. And just think, I only have to work for five days and I get another week off!

Oh.... snap.

Playing Games With The Handcuffs

No, I'm not talking about that. Silly.

Sometimes when an offender doesn't get his way he will look for anything he can do to get attention. If they are in the cell and the door is closed and they are in restraints they have two options at this point.

One: Climb up on the sink with their hands behind their back and threaten to jump. Not really a good option. I pepper sprayed the last guy that tried that. He climbed back down quickly and carefully. Showed me how much he really wanted to hurt himself.

Or Two: Just refuse to give up the cuffs.

My response to that? "Fine! Enjoy!" Slam! Close the chuckhole and walk away. At that point they usually go "Hey? Don't you want your cuffs back?"

Dude, I got thirty pairs of cuffs up in the bubble. I don't need that pair. You can keep them for a couple of hours. Oh, by the way.... you won't be getting any dinner until you give them up. See you in a couple of hours, mate.

For some reason the bigwigs don't like this tactic. They are concerned when an inmate keep a pair of restraints. They want them back. And, of course, they tell us to go in and get them.

Uhhhh.... No. I just tried that and he said he was keeping them and I said I'd be back in two hours. That is when we are legally obligated to check on him and see if he wants them removed.

What usually happens is the closest Lieutenant will come trotting down and sweet talk the inmate and sympathize with his plight and agree we are all evil bastards until the inmate gives him our cuffs back.

What the snap ever.

Who cares if this idiot wants to be uncomfortable? Even if he steps through and brings them around to the front they are not pleasant to wear. They are just hard steel. If they were that concerned they would have the industries people knitting little covers for the cuffs.

I don't get these people sometimes. One Tard keeps a pair of $20.00 handcuffs and they get all fidgety. You want them back that bad? Put together a team with the stun shield! Block the window so he can't see out and send them in with orders to get those cuffs no matter what.

Yeah, right.

Schrodingers' Inmate

In 1935 physicist Erwin Schrodinger put forth one of those oddly ridiculous theories that seem to make quantum physicists go completely berserk. It stated that if you put a cat in a sealed and shielded box with a geiger counter and a vial of poison, in which the poison would be released only if the geiger counter measured any radiation, that until you looked into the box, the cat would neither be alive nor dead.

I'm not talking about "living dead", or zombie cats or anything like that. I leave that sort of thing to Stephen King. It's talking about a state of quantum uncertainty. Because the observer, through the act of observing, alters that which is observed, then a process that is not observed therefore did not occur until it was observed!

Which is all complete rubbish, as far as most things are concerned. It's one of those "If a tree falls in the forest" things.

But I will take the notion and run with it as far as I can for the sake of this post.

On thursday last when I left work to go home we had an offender at or on his way to the hospital. He had coded out..... shuffled off that mortal coil.... gone to that great penitentiary in the sky, as it were. The EMT's had "zapped" him several times on the way there. Brought him back to life. And apparently the efforts were still occurring as I left. Vinnie told me the phone calls were still coming. He's alive..... he's dead.... he's alive... he's dead.....

Therefore in a purely solipsistic and quantum mechanics point of view in my universe, that inmate is neither dead nor alive but in some sort of limbo. And I'm sure that Heisenbergs Uncertainty Principle works into it somewhere.

Obviously, I'm no quantum physicist. And apparently Schrodinger didn't know to call the control center and ask questions. I just called and Little B (Big B's nephew) told me that the dude lived and is actually improving at this moment.

I'm not sure why this incident stayed in my mind. I didn't know the inmate. As far as I know I had never met him. I suspect that that odd little bit of my mind that loves horrible jokes hung onto it just to join it with the whole cat thing for some soft of odd laugh.

That's probably it.

In other news: You may have noticed that ads have popped up on the blog. I have ventured into the world of Googles AdSense program just to see what it is all about. Apparently I will make a penny or so if someone clicks on one of those ads. No takers, so far, tho. I will grow tired of them soon and make them go away.

And I finally got a few hits in Africa, completing my roll call of the continents. I've wisely decided to leave Antarctica out of the competition.

Hmmm.... reading this again back from the top, I'm not very happy with it. Doesn't hold together well. Pfui. Frack it.

I'll try to be more coherent tomorrow.